Why aren't you happy enough?

With modern life becoming increasingly more complex each day, our minds are finding it difficult to come up with answers to why we're so unhappy.

It seems like we live in a world where "be happy" is the ultimate directive no matter the situation is.

Losing your job? Don't worry, just be happy! You're car broke? Cheer up - it could be worse as long as you're happy, its fine. Is happiness really the right end goal to strive for? Is it really the answer to life's issues? Is a state of being happy something that can actually solve everything? Is it really that simple? Let’s look into this popular phrase "be happy" a little further and question whether it's truly capable of delivering all its promises.

Society is undoubtedly chasing after pleasure.

Unfortunately, this has driven us to be more unhappy than ever- and for many of us, it's prompted a chronic case of "the grass is always greener". We are so hypnotized by the glamour of quick pleasures that we can't seem to accept the fact that true happiness is almost never found at first glance. We're unable to maintain it because sustainable joy and contentment require us to really ask ourselves why we're unhappy in the first place. It demands inquiry into our deepest needs and addressing gaps to our understanding of what truly makes life meaningful- something that contemporary society has started to ignore.

With modern life becoming increasingly more complex each day, our minds are finding it difficult to come up with answers to why we're so unhappy.

It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack! Between the hours of 9-5, feeling pressure from social media platforms mining all of our attention, as well as worrying about our own personal survival and getting caught up in so many problems that need solving – there's just not enough room in our heads to answer why we're so unfulfilled.

It's not easy to tell the world 'thanks, but no thanks' and take back your life from the prison that culture has built.

Many of us often find ourselves in tough spots with little idea how to get out and open ourselves up to true happiness. It may seem like a mammoth task, but it can be done! Making tough decisions regarding relationships, lifestyles and ideas will allow you create some space to listen back to your inner self. Ultimately, this is the first step on the path towards finding true happiness. Take back your life, it is possible!

How to find true happiness? Practice stoicism.

If you want to take the plunge and become a stoic, be prepared for a huge wake-up call. This isn't some "magical thinking" approach - this is experiencing true enlightenment that comes from understanding ideas surrounding the physical world, brain science, decision making, social interactions and more. The thing is once you make the conscious effort to accept that there are certain things in life outside our control, it can cause a massive shift in your perception of reality. Having gone through this journey myself over the last 6 years, I can attest that it's incredibly liberating but difficult to reach. However, if you commit and come out on the other side, you'll have attained an unwavering mind as resilient as a diamond and clarity like no other.

How to find true happiness? Do hard things.

Do hard things: it's the key to not just having fun, but to becoming stronger and better. Taking on tasks like a running a marathon, painting a masterpiece or mastering guitar tunes can provide us with a dopamine reward system like none other – it's literally optimizing our body. Challenges like these shape our neurology in good ways, and build up our capacity to react to uncertainty when faced with difficult situations rather than simply "vegging out" in front of our TV screens and smartphones. In other words, if you want to feel alive – do hard things!

How to find true happiness? Build great relationships.

Finding the right people to create a compatible atmosphere can be difficult, but it's worth the effort. Afterall, those foundational traits like love, kindness, honesty, respect and trust - they blossom like rosebuds in soil enriched by strong relationships with trusted people. It's as rewarding to witness these great values emerge as it is indispensable for any meaningful life. Time spent with nigh-true lifelong friends, beloved children and grandchildren - these small moments add up to build an invaluable situation that money can't buy. Life may be difficult, sure - but it certainly gets easier when you make your crew of trustworthy confidants a priority.

The next few months won't be the prettiest if you want to make the changes necessary to achieve true happiness.

The overwhelming darkness can sometimes seem impossible to break through, but with the right amount of grit it's entirely achievable. I recommend taking a stoic stance, cultivating the best relationships and tackling the trickiest problems as the most effective way forward. Even if the first steps feel small and insignificant, you'll quickly notice the light starting to appear on your horizon – and suddenly, new opportunities that were previously hidden in plain sight materialize out of the blue!

This is part of my 'why' blog series as I deep dive to our modern day struggles. Read my last blogpost here. An audio version of this blog can be found here.